Choose Encouragement over criticising every time
Here’s a simple story from my recent visit to the pub.
I was sat at the bar in my local, watching my pint being nervously poured.
Behind the bar, the girl’s hands were clearly shaking.
I struck up a conversation.
I’ve not seen you hear before’ I said, ‘you just started working here?’
The pub has been my local for over 30-years.
After asking this question, I discovered it was her first shift. She’d just been promoted from the kitchen to front of house! As the young girl explained about her step up, I detected a sense of pride in her voice. Pride - dappled with some nerves.
She reminded me of my daughter Amy who waits-on in a local Bistro part time, and I thought about some of the stories she’d shared with me. She often deals with rude customers when they are unhappy about one thing or another. She's had to put up with some horrible customers (It's a great restaurant BTW 😁).
So, back to my story about my local...
The girl was pouring the pint straight up and down, and at pace.
Time and time again, the beer cascaded over the edge of the glass.
There was more going in the slop tray, than there was in the pint – which by now had a massive frothy head on it.
Instead of complaining, I smiled and was patient.
A minute later, there was a lot more beer ending up in the glass. I said, ‘that looks so difficult, I wouldn’t have a clue where to start pulling a pint from a pump like that - it looks like you’ve sussed it quickly, or something like that.
‘How many of them have you poured today’ I asked - at the same time guessing it wasn’t many.
She shared, ‘this is my first one - I’ve just had some very quick training - well if you can call it that’, she added.
Wow - who the hell trained you I thought 🤔, instead I said, ‘Wow I’m super impressed’. Her eyes appeared to light up, grateful of the encouragement.
She soon became frustrated with the amount of froth in the first pint glass, and ditched it for another whilst apologising. ‘It’s cool’ 😎 I said, ‘there was probably something in the glass making it froth like that'. Again, this was returned with a smile.
On her second attempt, I could see the determination in her face - it was clear.
This time, it seemed as though she handled the glass with more confidence. The beer flowed more smoothly into the glass, and there it was, a much-improved pint. One more squeeze of the pump - she’d just about cracked it.
Now at this point, some people would have complained...it was probably about an inch short once the head of beer had settled. I chose not to. Instead, jokingly I said, 'If I ever open a bar in Whitley Bay (that’s where I live by the way) - I’m coming to get you to run it – you’re a fast learner'. She laughed and said, ‘well it’s definitely a better pint than the first attempt’. I smiled back, and said, ‘sure is, it’s great – thank you'. A beaming smile spread across her face.
After that, I watched her pours improved with each pint, and whilst I can’t be sure, I hope my conversation had helped her relax into what she was doing. By the way, I only had🍺🍺, the rest of the time I was observing 😉.
So, what’s the point of this story.
It’s simple...
Celebrating and looking for the good, rather than focusing on the mistakes and what’s not so good, can truly transform someone's approach and outlook. It can and does without doubt, encourage them to do better, in whatever it is that they do.
This applies in all walks of life.
At work, at home and when we’re generally out and about.
We can choose to do this in every interaction that we have.
It’s 100% our choice.
I wonder what would have happened if I’d have chosen to complain about my first pint!
That poor lass – I think her first shift would have been a nightmare.
Instead, I hope it felt like a good one, one that she will remember as a positive experience.
So, the moral of the story:
Focus on what you can give in life.
Be kind to others.
Look for the good in people and in situations.
Recognise people’s efforts.
Appreciate, rather than criticise.
The more of the good that you look for, the more you will find.
It's great for the recipient, and it can be a real positive for your own wellbeing too.
Positivity breeds more positivity - It’s contagious, and the ripple effect can reach far and wide.
Being kind is 100% your choice – but finally I want to leave you with a question - Why would you choose to be any other way?
The above follows some fairly simple personal leadership principles. If you'd like to gain more knowledge on other aspects of personal leadership that can significantly enhance your life and that of those around you, please just drop us a line and we'll get in touch.
Find Gherkin on LinkedIn at
https://www.linkedin.com/company/gherkin-associates-ltd
Helping People and Businesses Thrive
Glenn Smith – Gherkin Associates Ltd
Comments