an essential part of business, but a horrible distraction too.
Are mobile devices a distraction that get in the way of true listening and clear thinking?
Here's a story that I hope will get you thinking about the use of electronic devices and mobiles phones in meetings because of the impact they can have. It goes back many years but it’s still extremely relevant.
So, there I was, about to start a 20-minute presentation to a Group Chief Operating Officer of an exceptionally large organisation. I’d been asked to present an update about an opportunity to work with an extremely large customer. I had prepared well and put a huge amount of thought into how I was going to approach things.
I'd been up the night before reviewing and tweaking my notes to make sure my messages would land. I'd probably spent more time than I would do normally due to the seniority of the person I was meeting. Although daunting at the time, it was a great opportunity to really impress them.
After a very pleasant but brief introduction, we kicked off and I began to talk about the subject I'd been asked to present. I had pulled a few slides together to ensure the session was engaging covering all the areas they’d asked to be updated on.
What happened next shocked me, although it shouldn’t have because I’d been prewarned that it might happen. My advice prior to the meeting was to keep going if it does.
So, I was about 2 minutes in, and my guest picked up their mobile phone, swiping the screen and running through, well whatever it was they were running through. This was what I’d been tipped off about. The advice I was given was to keep going.
All sorts of things started running through my mind. Is what I’m saying not of interest? Have I completely missed the mark? Am I boring them? Am I that un-important that they can’t spare me 20mins – do they know how long I’ve prepared for this?
As soon as this started to happen, because of their actions, my thinking was being interrupted and diverted to the extent it began to impact the clear messages I wanted to give.
Presented with a choice, to keep going or stop, I took the decision to stop, in fact I stopped dead in my tracks. This grabbed their attention and they looked up. I paused for a couple of seconds and then asked, “Has something come up that you need to sort out? - Is there something else you need to get to?”
I remember my heart was pounding. I felt extremely uncomfortable. In my own mind I was taking a huge risk. What right did I have to be asking the COO this? I felt extremely stressed and uncomfortable.
Thankfully, I got the reaction I wanted. The phone was put down and turned over on the desk. I now had their attention and we ended up having a great conversation. Stopping was the right thing to do. It paid off.
So, to get to the point of this story, I got the reaction and eventually the dialog I wanted. The fact that this set of circumstances made me feel the way it did, got me thinking. What if that had been me? What if I did that in my meetings? What would the people I work with think about how they are valued?
That day has left a long-lasting impression on me. It taught me a few things including:
Silence can be a great tool if it’s used correctly.
Remember to pause. It’s important not to react – What I really wanted to say was something like, are you kidding me, you asked for this session, I’ve been up until 1am and you can’t even be bothered to listen to me etc. – thankfully I didn’t.
Mobile phones and other electronic devices, although essential to everyday business, have a time and place - and in my mind it’s not in meetings.
Most people who use mobile devices in meetings believe they are doing the right thing. They think they are staying on top of things, multi-tasking, keeping an eye on issues and being as productive as possible when taking notes.
My take is different. I believe that when mobile devices are used in meetings it can be damaging. For me it shows the following:
Lack of respect and attention
If someone is on their mobile device, regardless of if that's a tablet, mobile or laptop, to me that sends out a signal that they believe that what they're doing is more important than the meeting itself.
OK, so some people may say that they're using their laptop to make notes of the meeting, but trust me, when someone is typing away into a laptop, they’re not truly participating in the meeting itself. Taking notes using pen and paper is a much more effective way to take in information. The use of mobiles shows a general lack of respect.
Poor quality of listening
When it comes to your turn to speak, and other people around you are on their mobile devices, what kind of a signal do you think that sends to the person speaking. Without question it makes them feel like they're not being listened to.
And guess what? In the next meeting when they're asked to input or give their ideas, they’re less likely to come forward. They’ll simply be thinking I won’t be listened to, so what’s the point. They’ll stay quiet and you’ll lose their input and ideas.
Littl e or no self-awareness
If people really knew that picking up their mobile device sent some of the signals that I've already talked about, would they really do it? If you think about the things I've already covered, lack of respect, lack of attention and lack of listening, when this happens people form opinions. Those on the receiving end of not being listened to form an opinion of the person who is using the mobile device. This creates an invisible barrier to effective future working.
They’re not in control – they are being controlled.
Are these people so in demand that it can't wait for 45 minutes or for an hour or so until they finish their meeting. Are they in a position where they can’t afford to wait? Is there a culture in the organisation of people being expected to jump through hoops and respond immediately? None of these things I'm talking about here are good for an organisation.
A lack of social awareness
As well as self-awareness, there's also a lack of social awareness. Those people who are busily working away on their mobile devices during a meeting may think they are multitasking and being very efficient, but what they don't understand is how their behaviour is impacting others around them. It negatively impacts peoples thinking, attitudes, motivation, and sense of togetherness.
You may be in a meeting with 20 people. All it takes is one person on a mobile device and it can have a significant impact on the dynamics of the meeting and often way beyond the meeting itself too (for the reasons I’ve just described). Just one person – that’s all it takes.
So, you can probably tell I’m not a fan of mobiles in meetings
There is however a need to approach this subject carefully. To make sure it doesn’t happen (assuming you agree it’s a good thing in the first place), the first thing you need to do is set some ground rules. It’s important though that you do this in a way that involves your colleagues, so you're not seen as being a dictator.
My suggestion to kick off a meeting would be to say something like – ‘thanks for being on time, it's really important today to establish our XYZ plan (or whatever your meeting objective is). Before we kick off, I just wanted to ask you a quick question. If you knew there was a way for us all to input and be heard today, without any distractions, what do you think we should do to get the most out of our time together?”
If you were to ask something like this, there’s a strong probability that people will suggest things like putting phones out of reach / or let's not use our laptops etc. When they say this, that's an ideal opportunity to build on it further – “I tell you what that's a great idea, let's go a step further - let’s put them out of reach and let’s turn them off too - we’ll be done in an hour”.
It won’t take long – after you’ve done something like this just a couple of times, you’ll start to find people leaving their mobiles and laptops outside of meetings.
Do this and you’ll get deeper, richer, and more productive meetings. You’ll also see relationships improve as people respect each other’s time more. There will be a greater sense of togetherness and you’ll start to get listening that really counts.
Why would you want to do meetings any other way?
What’s your view? I’d be interested in your thoughts.
Find Gherkin on LinkedIn at
https://www.linkedin.com/company/gherkin-associates-ltd
Helping People and Businesses Thrive
Glenn Smith – Gherkin Associates Ltd
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